If only it was that easy right?
We are bombarded with “reasons” everyday to be stressed out. Society encourages you to stress about:
- Missing the Walking Dead
- Those idiots on the road
- Work related stuff
- Family plans
- where to go for lunch
- Not getting laid enough
- Not having the latest Iphone
- Being broke as a joke
- and much much more
Some of this stuff might count as legitimate concerns but none are worth increasing cortisol and adrenaline levels over with the exception of Number 8.
#8 is where I am right now, broke as hell, partially because I’ve invested some significant dough in myself and the website I’m building. But, I am not too worried about it.
Because I’ve emotionally detached myself from the stressor. In Dave Ellis’ “Becoming A Master Student”, he talks about using detachment to remove ourselves from stress by simply looking at our stressor outside of ourselves, as if its something completely external to us. Doing this enables us to defog our the car windows of our minds by briefly acting as though we have no stake.
Now that we have detached ourselves, we must take steps to calm our minds. Often the things that stress me out are:
- Shit that happened in the past: “Why didn’t / did I do that…”
- Shit that MIGHT happen in the future: “I’m broke, what if another bill comes?”
So I ask myself, “What is the worst that could happen?”, yeah I get it. Overdraft fees are the devil and you had sex with a very suspect partner last night but is stewing over it going to fix the damn problem?
You know the answer to this: of course not.
Often when we stew over things its because we aren’t checked in at the present moment and when we aren’t checked in at the present moment, we lose control of the narrative that goes on in our heads.
When the narrative is lost, we are lost, left to stew in the woe-is-me whirlpool of perpetual fucking doom. With each new faux stressor the whirlpool gets deeper and deeper, and we’ll either fight the current forever or drown in its depths (suicide). The best and healthiest way to fight against the swift current of whirlpool stress is….
To not fight against the current at all.
You see my friend, you created the monstrosity and only you can destroy the damn thing! Chances are, you are worried about what DID happen or COULD happen. Practice mindfulness and focus on the present. The hear and now, and whatever is right in front of you. Mike Cernovich has an awesome book called Gorilla Mindset and in it he talks about being mindful and present by”Checking into our bodies”, here’s what he means:
Take a few minutes and do this right now.
Feel the sensation of the air in the room on your skin…is it cool? Is it warm?
Listen to your breathing; how are you breathing? Are you breathing rapid shallow breaths? Deep relaxed breaths?
Listen to your body sensations starting at the feet and work your way up, from your toes, all the way to your finger tips and your brain. What do you feel?
Take a few deep relaxed breaths
Embrace the present.
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